this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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Bisexual

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This is a community for bisexuals, their allies, friends, family, anyone curious about us or our community, or just people who want to hang out.

Bisexual means different things to different people, and I'm not going to tell you what it should mean to you. But one thing I will say is that being bisexual does NOT mean being trans-exclusionary. We love no matter what dingles, dongles, or dangles you do or do not have in your pants.

Of course, there are the basic rules. No hate speech, no brigading, no doxing, no homophobia, no transphobia, no sexism, no racism, no illegal material. Rules will be added as needed.

At the moment, we do not have a hard and fast rule over NSFW images or posts, but I will say that this is a community about bisexuality, not for porn. Please don't make me ban NSFW content altogether.

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I find both men and women attractive in their own ways, but I could never see myself dating a woman. I want a boyfriend. I don't look at romance games or stories where the protagonist romances a girl either because it's not relatable to me. Only men. Do I just prefer men or am I just straight?

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[–] EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 days ago

Something to keep in mind is that dating and romantic attraction is different from sexual attraction. It's very possible that you could be heteroromantic and only want to date men, but still be bisexual because you find women sexually attractive.

There's also a difference between finding both men and women attractive and actually being attracted to both men and women. Like I'm demiromantic and asexual. I find both men and women attractive in their own ways, I'd just as easily date a guy as a girl as long as I've gotten to know them well though to have a connection, but I'm not actually attracted to either of them.

I will say that the preferences in romance books and games maybe leans more straight, but that doesn't necessarily mean a whole lot because they do tend to really heavily link the romantic and sexual attraction. So you could still very easily be attracted to women but not want to date them because you're only sexually attracted to them and not romantically attracted to them.

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 5 points 1 day ago

Don't answer these to me, but here are some questions to ask yourself: Can you sexually fantasize about being with a woman, to the point of satisfaction? If you don't experience sexual attraction, can you fantasize about being with a woman in romantic ways similar to ways you enjoy with men? Have you read f/f erotica and felt anything? None of this is definitive, but it might answer your question to the degree you need it answered.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What's the purpose of the label? Usually it's to find mates of the appropriate gender. If you're not going to date women, why do you want the label?

[–] baduhai@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

If you're not going to date women

You don't have to date both genders to be bi. I don't see myself dating a man, but man... I'll do other things to them.

[–] EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

To be fair there is an element of just understanding your own identity to finding a label that resonates with you. Even if they don't want to date a woman, understanding their own identity and feelings is still a worthwhile endeavor.

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

I you find both men and women sexually attractive I think that's the definition of bisexual. Even if you never act on that attraction or you don't feel romantic attraction to either men, woman or both.

There's a gap between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. We can feel sexual attraction to people we don't feel romantically attracted to, and the other way around.

If we want to go down the terminology rabbit hole I suppose the term would be heteroromantic bisexual.

[–] Triasha@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

The only true question is "what do you think"

If your appreciation of women feels sexual, even if you would never date a woman, and you believe that qualifies as bi, then you are bi.

If you don't believe that makes you bi, then not bi.

I've had sex with a man. I had a good time, but I realized I could enjoy sex with him or another man the way I could enjoy sex with a dildo, or Sybian machine. I wasn't attracted to him for anything about him.

I consider myself a lesbian.

[–] baduhai@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago

I don't really see myself dating a man, but god are they hot.

[–] Wytch@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

Attraction doesn't have to be at a 1:1 ratio to be bi but finding someone attractive also doesn't automatically define your orientation