PugJesus

"I'm alive."

Normal friends? What are those?

Truly walking in the ways of the ancients 🙏

Explanation: The Roman Emperor Caligula once ordered his troops to 'make war' on Neptune, the Roman god of the sea, by stabbing the incoming tides and collecting seashells as booty. Interpretations of this act... vary. Some attribute it to Caligula's supposed madness - others, to him having a bit of a lark by exercising how total his control as Emperor was ("I can make you lot do anything, no matter how stupid or humiliating" sort of thing, very popular amongst tyrants of all ages). Some say it was to humiliate the troops for refusing to go on a supposed campaign to Britannia, which was not yet conquered at that point.

We know the truth, though - that bastard Neptune was getting too uppity for his own good, and Caligula saved us all from a future under the sea god's oppressive reign!

Explanation: The Roman Emperor Caligula once ordered his troops to 'make war' on Neptune, the Roman god of the sea, by stabbing the incoming tides and collecting seashells as booty. Interpretations of this act... vary. Some attribute it to Caligula's supposed madness - others, to him having a bit of a lark by exercising how total his control as Emperor was ("I can make you lot do anything, no matter how stupid or humiliating" sort of thing, very popular amongst tyrants of all ages). Some say it was to humiliate the troops for refusing to go on a supposed campaign to Britannia, which was not yet conquered at that point.

We at RoughRomanMemes know the truth, though - that bastard Neptune was getting too uppity for his own good, and Caligula saved us all from a future under the sea god's oppressive reign!

Poor forgotten Wyll 😔

If it's any consolation, I rarely use him either. He's too damn nice!

It feels like the original Oblivion, by all accounts. For me, that's not a big thrill, but I wasn't a big fan of the original.

It's nice to see people being able to revisit the joys of their youth, though.

Something like "Shaped charge animation" I think

Historically at least 1 person has jacked off

Big if true

It happens

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kumulativnimlazanimacija.gif

RPG demonstration, but same principle

Procopius's Secret History is a pretty fantastic example of that kind of writing (though there's more interest in the Empress's sexual misadventures than the Emperor's)

Frequently, she conceived, but as she employed every artifice immediately, a miscarriage was straightway effected. Often, even in the theater, in the sight of all the people, she removed her costume and stood nude in their midst, except for a girdle about the groin: not that she was abashed at revealing that, too, to the audience, but because there was a law against appearing altogether naked on the stage, without at least this much of a fig-leaf. Covered thus with a ribbon, she would sink down to the stage floor and recline on her back. Slaves to whom the duty was entrusted would then scatter grains of barley from above into the calyx of this passion flower, whence geese, trained for the purpose, would next pick the grains one by one with their bills and eat. When she rose, it was not with a blush, but she seemed rather to glory in the performance. For she was not only impudent herself, but endeavored to make everybody else as audacious. Often when she was alone with other actors, she would undress in their midst and arch her back provocatively, advertising like a peacock both to those who had experience of her and to those who had not yet had that privilege her trained suppleness.