79
A cool guide on Speaking to children and honestly adults (i.redd.it)
submitted 5 months ago by partybot@lemmy.ca to c/coolguides@lemmy.ca
7 comments fedilink hide all child comments
all 8 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] immutable@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

People act in accordance with their notion of identity. There was a study about voting that showed that getting people to identify themselves as a voter resulted in statistically significant increase in them actually voting than asking them if they would vote or having them pledge to vote.

For this reason I take issue with replacing “we don’t talk like that” with “please use kind words”

The former helps form the child’s identity as a person with values, one of which, is not using mean words. The latter is a plea to abide by the parent’s values.

It is not cruel to raise your child to have values and to instill those values. I would argue it is cruel to deprive a child of those core values and replace it with some sort of obedience to authority which is what the updated phrase instills.

[-] Railing5132@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Children, particularly toddlers and younger ones, don't have an abundance of higher reasoning and logic. They are figuring out what "self" even is. being gentle with developing minds shouldn't take away values.

To your point, I can see middle school kids benefitting from a more avtive voice approach.

[-] immutable@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I think even a young child could understand “we don’t talk like that” I don’t really see the alternative as particularly more gentle.

If a young child is figuring out what “self” is, I think it would be even better to provide them guidance that could help them answer that question. “Please use kind language” is just a request / order, I imagine someone might think it’s more gentle because it contains the word “please” but I’m not really sure

I think either phrase could be delivered in a gentle or aggressive manner. I would support telling a child “we speak kindly to others” as a sort of middle ground. Even better would be to explain the importance of this value to them “we speak kindly to others. It’s important that we treat each other with kindness” and then to follow up any questions about why, to provide space for the child to understand the value you want to communicate instead of just the instruction.

I do think raising up a child with kindness is good, but our children will not always have an adult nearby to tell them to be nice. Our goal should be to give them the values that guide their conduct in our absence and help them navigate the world.

[-] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 months ago

It's not hard so there's no way you can mess it up

[-] Presently42@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 months ago

Ima try some of these with my parents. Might help

[-] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago

A lot of 'parenting guides' are harmful, but this one is actually good. Saved! (Even though I'm not a parent)

[-] monk@lemmy.unboiled.info -2 points 5 months ago

7:17

this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
79 points (80.2% liked)

Cool Guides

4683 readers
1 users here now

Rules for Posting Guides on Our Community

1. Defining a Guide Guides are comprehensive reference materials, how-tos, or comparison tables. A guide must be well-organized both in content and layout. Information should be easily accessible without unnecessary navigation. Guides can include flowcharts, step-by-step instructions, or visual references that compare different elements side by side.

2. Infographic Guidelines Infographics are permitted if they are educational and informative. They should aim to convey complex information visually and clearly. However, infographics that primarily serve as visual essays without structured guidance will be subject to removal.

3. Grey Area Moderators may use discretion when deciding to remove posts. If in doubt, message us or use downvotes for content you find inappropriate.

4. Source Attribution If you know the original source of a guide, share it in the comments to credit the creators.

5. Diverse Content To keep our community engaging, avoid saturating the feed with similar topics. Excessive posts on a single topic may be moderated to maintain diversity.

6. Verify in Comments Always check the comments for additional insights or corrections. Moderators rely on community expertise for accuracy.

Community Guidelines

By following these rules, we can maintain a diverse and informative community. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to reach out to the moderators. Thank you for contributing responsibly!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
JCSpark@lemmy.ca