TransLater

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A community for trans folk who transitioned or are transitioning later in life.

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Advice on starting the journey? (beehaw.org)

submitted 4 days ago by justme@beehaw.org to c/translater@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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Hi, everyone! I’m at the very beginning of my journey, having only recently cracked my egg and realized I’m trans. I’m still mostly closeted, having only come out to my wife, a few select friends, and my therapist. My biggest concerns thus far are centered around my wife and our son (about to be entering middle school next year).

I have no doubts about who I am and who I want to be, but I’m not really sure how to move forward in a way that minimizes the upheaval for them. My wife is cis and has always considered herself straight, so she’s unsurprisingly having some difficulty with labels and fears for the future, though she’s also trying to be supportive. But she’s also feeding into some of my own fears, and stressing the potential impact not only on our lives, but on our son, too. She’s also repeatedly expressed concerns that I’m going to want to move faster than what she’s comfortable with (even if that’s not fast at all).

Anyone who’s been through similar on their journey, I’d love to hear your perspective and how you managed to handle it to continue on your journey. I know I’m not alone, but it’s a challenge and any suggestions on how to avoid pitfalls are more than welcome!

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[–] knightly@pawb.social 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I wish I had some actionable advice, but all I can tell you is to take it one day at a time. Unless your wife is very in tune with your body then it will be months on HRT before the effects become visible.

[–] justme@beehaw.org 4 points 4 days ago

Thank you! One day at a time is something I keep telling both myself and her; she’s the type of personality to spin out scenarios over the next decade, and it’s just an overwhelming amount of “what ifs.”