429
Cope
(lemmy.world)
Just once I'd like a post where everyone is chill and positive about stuff instead of focusing on negative
Edit: I dunno why I expect people to ever be capable of being positive anymore. Dunno why I bother.
Stamets, it's not like you to let the trolls get to you. I noticed yesterday but didn't feel like you'd appreciate that from a near stranger but it's even worse today.
You good, friend?
(Addendum for any reader; I know that culturally, pet names are seen as insulting in other parts of the world, but in my line of work and my part of the country, I had to delete like 10 "sugar," "honey," "darlin" and "love"s. Please keep in mind that it's meant well if you see someone like me slip up in the future.)
No. Honestly, I'm not but it is whatever. Think I'm gonna take a break from Lemmy for a couple days.
Have talked about how I lost my best friend a couple weeks ago over on Mastodon. Before finding that place, he was the only other person in my life who was a Trek fan and who liked Discovery. Moreover, he was positive. He had opinions of stuff he didn't like but he focused on the positive. We both liked each other for that reason. In a world with so much negativity and hatred and bitterness, it was nice to be able to enjoy something together. However we both did shy away a lot from the Trek communities because of the often toxicity that brews against newer Treks. If we were online and encountered it, we'd go to one another. Talk about how silly other people were. How they claimed to be huge fans of Star Trek but often neglected the lessons of the show and wanted to be angry all the time. Couldn't enjoy things for what they were and they certainly couldn't let other people enjoy them.
He's dead now and can't say or do anything. They can. They're still around.
I'm finding it really hard to deal with a lot of people online without him. So much negativity and it's like the port that you'd shelter the storm in is suddenly gone. Just being tossed on the waves, drowning and being terrified and not having any light or anyone around.
Yesterday was just... not a good day. Nothing specific. I was just having a rough day and acted like a fool. Then me and my idiot self decided to post this meme about NuTrek and for some stupid reason I hoped that it would be positive this one time. Just once.
I'm tired of having rogue waves fling this vessel with reckless abandon.
I'm tired of feeling hopeless.
I'm tired of the reminders that he's gone.
Tired of sitting here like a fucking idiot and crying over fucking internet comments because I'm too emotionally unstable to cope with anything. It's the internet. People are always going to fucking suck. I shouldn't have expected otherwise and I shouldn't have posted this thinking anything else would happen. Also certainly shouldn't have done it when my only crutch is gone.
It's whatever. It's my fault. I'm just being stupid. Sorry for whining and i'll be back in a few days.
I struggle to find what to say, because I'm just some random schmuck on the internet. Plenty of people post vile comments, so I'm going to post a saccharine one, in honor of your friend.
Others have said it already, but I'll say it again because why not: your voice online has been a pleasure.
Grief is terrible, and I'm sorry you lost a loved one. I'm lucky enough to have a friend like the one you describe. We're a big part of each others' support system, and a lot of what we talk about winds up being Trek. I say that only to let you know that your grief will help me remember why I should cherish my friend, while we're both around. Maybe that doesn't do you any good, hopefully it doesn't come across as selfish/insensitive on my part (if so, you have my apology in advance), but maybe it's some consolation that you and your buddy are inspiring others who have never even met you. We all have an effect on people's lives, whether we know when it happens or not. Just being some kind of role model, even in a small way, will influence people for the better. That's my hope, anyway. So you and your buddy have clearly been doing this for a lot of us, here. I'm sure elsewhere. You don't owe any of us anything, but I know seeing your positivity makes me smile.