54
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
54 points (89.7% liked)
[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation
6466 readers
1 users here now
Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.
RULES
- Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling
- Encourage conversation in your post
- Avoid controversial topics such as politics or societal debates
- Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate
- No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc.
- Respect privacy: Don’t ask for or share any personal information
Related discussion-focused communities
- !actual_discussion@lemmy.ca
- !askmenover30@lemm.ee
- !dads@feddit.uk
- !letstalkaboutgames@feddit.uk
- !movies@lemm.ee
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
One of -- if not THE -- primary causes for attraction is proximity. If you see someone often, you are much more likely to become attracted to them. Family members and 'unavailable' people such as those already married are typically, but not uniformly, excluded.
After that, we tend to be initially attracted to pretty people with symmetrical features, good health, and of a similar social status (we are also attracted to those of higher social rank, but they will tend to self-select themselves to be less frequently proximate as well as rejecting overtures from potential mates of lower status). That still doesn't matter as much as frequent exposure to someone. Ideally the exposure occurs when you are both in a good mood. Bad moods make for less attraction. We also like people with whom we share common interests, habits, and so on, such that more similar people are more likely to become attracted to one another.
So, yeah, 'friends' are generally going to trigger psychological cues of attraction in any group. Most everyone has to deal with such feelings and quash them when appropriate. Some people have a hard time dealing and either pursue when that makes them creepy or they fail to respond when the feeling is mutual.
This is what is behind "office hot". You work with someone 40+ hrs a week who is even average looking and they start to grow on you. You can definitely be attracted to briefly seeing someone too though. I've seen woman briefly that have left me flustered for the rest day.
Oh yeah, the above does not negate that spontaneous visual attraction people can experience even on a brief and chance viewing. The link I gave doesn't talk about that, but if I remember properly, I think statistically if you count everyone you might see in, say, the grocery store, the sort of sighting that leaves you flustered is a very low percentage of everyone seen.