You are within your rights to do how you want, but you'll catch some hell.

I know 6 people in the trans community now, none of whom have "detransitioned" and none of whose judgement I would question. I was lucky to spend a long time in both boarding school and college and every trans person I know was and is of unimpeachable character and intellect. My argument to you is that it cost you nothing to trust that any person is their own best judge of their needs and perspectives. In the worst case, you end up on a position to have a frank discussion with someone you have always supported. If the shoe were on the other foot, I know I would feel pretty salty if my friends or acquaintances thought they knew my struggles better than I did.

There's nothing to be gained from yelling at you or anyone else who isn't "on board", but just like other social issues, I don't think it's the job of your friendly neighborhood trans person to explain to you either (and that's a totally separate tough place to get to). I would rather step up and try my best to do that role myself.