Regardless of how Tinder tries to spin the new feature — which, it should be noted, only allows the rich and rizzless to send non-match messages twice a week — it's a very sad set of circumstances, even in the bleak landscape of dating apps.

The new "Tinder Select" subscription, which will offer three tiers starting at $24.99 per month, was purportedly created in part to help the app compete with other expensive services.

Indeed, Bloomberg notes that earlier this year, Match Group CEO Bernard Kim referred to Tinder's subscriptions as "low-hanging fruit" meant to compete with other, pricier services, though that was before this $6,000-per-year tier dropped.

While this "new offering" may seem like a blatant cash grab to the average person, JP Morgan Chase & Co seemed pretty impressed, as the report notes, naming Match Group's stock one of its top picks and upping its target price to boot.

"We expect Tinder payer trends to improve as focus shifts from price optimizations to product & engagement," a JPMorgan analysis viewed by Bloomberg read.

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