I get vomit and hairballs as well!

If your cat doesn’t curl up on your lap and sleep for hours. You need to get a new cat. Keep the old one, but just keep getting new ones will you find one that will do that.

What in the actual fuck is up with the hands?

If cats had thumbs we would be useless to them.

And fur, on everything, everywhere

I'm ok with poop. She kills all the spiders, mice, flies.... ect she can.

I've been bamboozled by a brain smaller than my fist

If I wasn't ok with it I wouldn't have gotten a cat.

We got the jackpot. Our cat poops outside and doesn't have a lot of hair. We only get the occasional mouse or bird as a present.