this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I remember a quote from an A380 pilot saying the plane doesn't look like it should be able to fly.

Even the people that fly them know they don't look like a flying object.

[–] Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

I get it. That plane is so disgusting the earth tries to keep it as far as possible from the ground.

[–] thebestaquaman@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No, thats the helicopter. It's said that it does not fly, but is repulsed by the earth because it is the hubris of man manifest.

[–] dave@feddit.uk 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Planes fly because aerodynamics.

Helicopters fly because money.

[–] thebestaquaman@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Helicopters leave the ground because God has gazed upon them, and became angered when He saw them among His beasts, on the lands of His creation. God then decided to expel the helicopters from His earthly kingdom to flutter helplessly in His skies. God did this to punish Man, whose hubris led him to climb into the unholy creation. The Lord would then strike down the abomination fluttering in His skies, condemning the heretics that had climbed aboard in the belief that they could fool Him.

Thus the name "Jesus nut".

[–] DeltaWingDragon@sh.itjust.works 1 points 18 hours ago

No, it's called the Jesus nut because if it fails, only Jesus can save you now.

Don't forget about the screens they put in the windows

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait till this guy find out that there are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky

[–] Geobloke@lemm.ee 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, technically pregnant women can be submarines

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've read your comment and I'd like you to know that I don't approve of it.

[–] Geobloke@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago

Well, I could've said male seahorses if that makes you feel better? Are they still submarines if you put them in an aquarium on a plane, but the plane crashes into the ocean?

[–] match@pawb.social 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

at takeoff i like to imagine that the plane is going into a massive underground subway network with really nice screens along the sides

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 7 points 1 day ago

I would be worried if the aeroplane goes down rather than up during takeoff.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

The dude writes 'atleast' like it's a word. I've seen all I need to see.

[–] Wildfire0Straggler3@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Whatever the fuck that last part means, how is it gay?

You are in the greentext community, this is the standard phrase used by 4chan people to call stuff they dont like or think is fake.

[–] Rekonok@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It is a traditional slang on 4chan (and somme parts of r*ddit).

Years ago there where a few sincere jokes with it now it is just straight up homophobia and culture war shit.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/fake-and-gay

[–] thebestaquaman@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don't know how you got to "culture war and homophobia"? It's literally a meme phrase that's used (often sarcastically) in response to stories on the internet. Saying something is "fake and gay" is literally shitposting, I think interpreting any deeper meaning into it is a bit of a stretch.

Edit: I just realised that this is a greentext community... half the comments here are either fake or gay, and OPs post is most definitely both.

[–] Wildfire0Straggler3@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago

I see now, I don't know how I went through the 2000's without realizing this phrase was a meme until now.

We just found a loophole in thermodynamics.

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