Yeah lemmy has issues with federating things a lot of times

The moderator federation at least should show you eventually. Tried hitting appoint as mod to see if I can get it done from here but it just loads forever. Worst case an account in that instance can be used to mod or that account can try modding your p.d account

Looks like it's working now, but in the future if someone else is having this issue, you could try and make a post or comment in the community.

It seemed to fix it for me when I was moderating on a different instance. I assume it triggered some kind of refresh or fetch.