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submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by blotz@lemmy.world to c/programmerhumor@lemmy.ml

I am the Anti-Rust programmer, I will call other code in Rust. I will call other code in Rust because it is coding is hard. As I am the Anti-Rust programmer, I will keep writing rust until my computer breaks, I will not use proper coding practices. Because I am the Anti-Rust programmer, my computer will be unstable and crash.

I will come to you when you are sleeping, and include random malloc(s) in your code. If I find javascript on your computer, I will use implicit type conversion. Do not try to stop me, if you try to stop me, I will do it anyways. I am the Anti-Rust programmer. If you program in javascript. You will be fine :).

You will be sleeping as I rewrite your computer. You will not notice me as I am the Anti-Rust programmer. I am slow, but I will make your computer slower. I understand your computer, as it doesn't understand me. After I rewrite your computer, you will hate your computer. You will hate your computer because it is unstable and crashes. I will do the same to all computers because I am the anti-rust programmer.

I will not stop at your computer. I will rewrite the world because I can. Your brain is written using good programming practices. If your brain is written using good programming practices, you will hate what I do. I will rewrite your brain. You cannot stop me from linking different languages together, as I am the anti rust programmer. After I rewrite you, you will enjoy constant memory leaks. You will forget everything all the time. I am the anti rust programmer.

I will rewrite the world. I will rewrite quantum mechanics because I can. I will not tell you all my plans before I rewrite you. It is because you are perfectly normal and will hate my changes. I am the anti rust programmer. You will forget me because you are full of memory leaks.

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[-] blotz@lemmy.world 44 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

My code is so ~~bad~~ good, GitHub thinks I've uploaded an API key.

[-] SteveTech@programming.dev 12 points 8 months ago

That's not really your code, more so you haven't setup a .gitignore to not commit not your code.

[-] blotz@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago

I wouldn't want to sully my repo with something as useful as a gitignore.

[-] mvirts@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Maybe you should try it out on Atlassian ๐Ÿ™ƒ

[-] PlexSheep@feddit.de 21 points 8 months ago

This guy is completely mad

[-] turkishdelight@lemmy.ml 3 points 8 months ago
this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2024
99 points (89.0% liked)

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