“It’s for washing ya back-side, right?”

Help Help I’m being assimilated!

I’m not even supposed to be in jail today!

Looks like I picked the wrong era to stop sniffing glue

The best part is doing the accents in your head.

New phone, who’s this?

I don’t usually get this much misogyny with my morning coffee

I was thinking the same, but it would be trivial for software to realize that “fnj xlg” maps to “the dog” with Colemak or Dvorak.

Now I have Tool stuck in my head. Happy Thanksgiving!

People choose $80k cars on 5-7 year notes because “they can afford the payment” thinking that means they can afford the car.

Yea I like this guy.

Frankenstein was the scientist