this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2024
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I don't believe a word of any of this, especially because of the unsourced line "From Reddit."
However, even if you were to lose every speck of skepticism the internet should have trained you to have, I still wouldn't care because that's fucking funny and the Olympics aren't serious business.
That's totally fair. I added a disclaimer to be a little safer in case it's totally wrong.