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submitted 2 months ago by db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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[-] can@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

But how do I show I am that guy day-to-day but not when it's a high pressure situation I've been playing my head over and over for days?

I've found ways around it but never know when you could need this kind of advice.

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The interviewer(s) has no power over your life, not presenting your case to a judge here. You didn't have the job when you woke up this morning, you may or may not have it when you go to bed. You can't lose anything, only gain.

Some advice that has stuck with me came from Andrew Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Yeah, modern sensibilities take that old-school title all wrong. It's a book about the author's quest to better understand social interactions and document his findings for future people feeling as lost as he did, thereby making himself a better person. It's the only book I'd recommend to anyone. Give it a spin.

When faced with potentially world shattering change, and an interview is not that, I force myself to take a breath and ask, "What happens if the very worst consequence I can imagine comes true?" Go nuts here, get dark, what's the worst you can imagine?

The answer is invariably, "I'll soldier on, somehow survive." Not like I'm going to blow my brains out, whatever happens. And you won't either.

"Will I get this job?" is nothing compared to the many difficulties life throws up. I'm on the hunt now, after leaving an employer that treats their employees like gold. In fact, I'm on severance pay ATM, but running out fast. What if I have to go back to an office everyday? What if I only end up getting paid half what I was making? Fuck, what if I end up selling boiled peanuts on a corner downtown to make our mortgage? Well, I won't die, that's for sure.

The second thing I'd say, talk to the interviewer just as you would a friend of a friend, an acquaintance that maybe has an opportunity for you. They're not kings, and you're not their subject. Approaching them as an equal makes one hell of a difference, exudes sincerity, and that lets them see you as your really are. And isn't that what you both want?

[-] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

You can't lose anything, only gain.

Idk about you, but I value my time. 5 hours spent for an interview process that does not end with an offer is a loss to me.

[-] drosophila@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago

Not like I’m going to blow my brains out, whatever happens. And you won’t either.

Plenty of people blow their brains out. 1 in every 12 autistic people attempt it anyway.

Not directly related but something I found while looking that stat up: a full 18% of 8-year-old autistic kids apparently have a suicide plan.

[-] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

Let it go.

Seriously. That's the answer. Don't worry about the interview. Just see it as another conversation.

I the end, interviews are no better than picking names out of a hat, this from research done by Harvard some 20+ years ago.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

I'm not sure I'm capable tbh. My workaround has been to get a temp job somewhere, be myself, then get offered a full time gig. It's worked multiple times but it's ironically more effort.