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Anon recommends a cast iron pan
(sh.itjust.works)
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The only thing I would use cast iron for is to fight the ninjas hiding behind my fridge
Unless you have arms like tree trunks then this is a bad weapon choice. Ninjas are notoriously fast and cast iron is notoriously heavy.
I assume they would be slowed down by having to clamber out from behind the fridge, I can get them while they're off balance