Obviously both approaches had advantages and disadvantages, but OPs experience was definitely possible if you had the patience and luck to find a good community/server. But this also means there is a certain barrier because you have to do some work to find a good community/experience and can't just click one button to start.

And there are still modern games that have server browsers and they mostly tend to be less toxic imo, in part because people tend to know eachother a bit better and in part because servers generally have harsh rules, so toxic players often get kicked quickly.

And this is also where the disadvantages come in because there are admins who just kick anyone they don't like for whatever reason.