Drag thinks you can call yourself an ally if you think your actions earned it. But if a queer person tells you you're not and gives a reason, then it's time to self-crit and really think carefully about why they said that. It means that they didn't feel like you were helping them. You don't get to say "nuh uh, I'm doing this for your own good", that's not a consensual relationship. Drag has seen that before. Cishet people saying they get to call themselves an ally even if every queer person they know hates them. For example, take J K Rowling. She thinks she's an ally. She thinks she's done more to help the queer community than almost anyone. This post is about people like her.