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submitted 3 days ago by blueskyposter to c/peoplebluesky@lemmy.world
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[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world -2 points 2 days ago

Wishful thinking. I like it. I hope the next time he falls is during the last erection of his life. He's taken two Viagra and the turtle came out of its shell. He's rubbing a stick of butter on his member, balls swinging pendulous below. He didn't know it, but from his autopsy we learned he had the longest ballsack on record, with a full six inches of pubic hair attached.

So he's rubbing the butter on his penis and he falls over. And straight up breaks his dick IN-HALF.

[-] oascany@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

What the hell man I just woke up

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Well don't downvote my perfect prose just because you weren't ready for it!

[-] oascany@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I don't think I'll ever be ready for that

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Your nose, ears, and, if you're a man, your ballsack all continue growing throughout your life. He's so old he has to put them over his leg when he shits so they don't go in the water. Or maybe, since he's a king, he just shits on his balls and has his groom of the stool clean them up.

[-] oascany@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Please stop I'm just trying to enjoy my weekend man

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I apologize. My attempts at humor are not for everyone. I hope you have a great weekend!

Here's a nice thing- scientists exploring a remote part of northern Argentina discovered 27 new species. One of them is a dwarf squirrel that is only 5.5 inches long!

[-] oascany@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Oh I was just kidding along. But thanks for the fun fact about little squirrels.

this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2024
734 points (97.4% liked)

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