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Gender Euphoria convo
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Transfem
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My hair lately has been so soft and its gotten so long. Today I blow dried it and the way it frames my face is amazing and makes me feel very euphoric. I also have been practicing with my voice a lot lately and getting gendered correctly on the phone has been very euphoric and encouraging. I really feel like I've made good progress with my voice over the last couple months, when this time a year ago I thought I might never successfully voice train.
My earliest memories of gender euphoria had to do with my hair and clothing. I had never heard of trans people and had no idea what I was feeling. I even crossdressed in middle school just because I wanted to, but I had no idea why I felt really happy when I did it or why it made me feel gross when people gendered me as a boy.
I don't remember really hearing about trans until maybe within the last 10 years. I sometimes wonder if things would've been different if I had heard about it when I was younger. I still grew up in a very, let's say strict,environment. So, who knows.
I mean, same? If I hadn't moved out of the bible belt ten ears ago... If my kids hadn't came out to me years ago... Well, I'd still be more miserable than I am now.
I can recognize the dysphoria and try to fight it instead of thinking I'm an ugly guy. I'm starting to recognize why I hate my body, and am slowly fighting back to find who I am, one shaved hair, one shirt, one necklace, one technique at at time.
Let's face it, we grew up in a time when trans people were ridiculed at best. Mrs Doubtfire, Ace Ventura. Thank god for the information age, that we can talk like this with complete strangers, and share ideas and positivity and support and love.
I knew about trans folk when I was a teenager (in the late 80s and early 90s). I knew I "should have been born a girl" even longer than that.
I still didn't let myself accept that I'm trans until 2017, and that was only when a work mate transitioned and showed me that it really is something I can do too.
Having the information helps, but it's only part of story. The environment we're raised in and have to survive in is also part of the story. Sometimes we lie to ourselves because that's the only way to get through
What little I remember when I was younger was that there were "transexuals" but it was always portrayed like a crazy sex/fetish thing.
Yeah, that's how I knew about trans folk. That stigma and hate is a large part of why it took me so long to accept something I always knew to be true
Yeah.. I think that's slowing down my progress in figuring shit out. There's so much shit that got internalized that I haven't been aware of til now.