this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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My former boss had a whole church community arrange a meeting between him and a woman, just so his parents could tell her parents what he thought of her. The two would eventually marry. It really was that easy back then. And yes they’re still happily married for reasons beyond my understanding.
I'm going to assume if you arrange 1000 marriages a few are definitely bound to work out. For the rest though...
I can see the logic. The realities of day to day life and managing a household together are a considerably larger presence than most people realize until they're shoulder deep into adult life.
For context, see research by Myers, D., 1993 (which I can't find a link to at the moment) about differences in satisfaction in couples in India in arranged marriages and couples in Amerikkka in marriages of choice, and compare it with the later research Myers, 2005.
More specifically to your statement about auntie zeroing in on something, see MacDonald & Ross, 1999.
To shreds you say
What about the ones that work out?
Shredded you say
I didn’t bother going into details. It wasn’t an arranged marriage, the two were only arranged to meet. They chose to pursue a relationship entirely on their own.
Odds are if a church was involved, one or both are gaslighted into believing they are meant to be married that other person for better or worse, and regressive enough subculture/community that finds divorce abhorrent for any reason (other than the man could have a younger bride)
Most countries where arranged marriages are still a thing so have that backwards religious view on divorce though.
I'm not suggesting another cultuur or religion is backwards, only that their views on divorce often are. The result of these views often is that women get stuck in abusive marriages and have no way to get out. I know people who are in arranged marriages. Some of them are happy, but the ones that are not are stuck.