I think a lot of Christians misunderstand hell and damnation, probably because of the imagery used in the Bible. The important thing to take away is that it's a state of guilt and regret (i.e. internal torment), not one of active punishment (external torment). But then we have depictions, such as Dante's Divine Comedy, where there are devils and fire and whips and whatnot going on to actively torture and punish sinners.

But that's not the real problem, the problem is religious leaders stirring people up and preying on their fear to encourage devotion.

So I don't think it's the fault of religions themselves, but the various leaders that rile people up. Just like I rarely blame political ideologies, but instead the leaders that twist them for their own purposes. There are certainly genuinely evil ideologies and perhaps religions, but the problem is with how people use them, not the ideologies themselves. For example, Buddhism is widely recognized as being a peaceful religion, yet it has been used to justify violence despite violence being expressly against its tenets.

So my contention isn't with religion or any given ideology (with a few exceptions), it's worth extremists.

There is a difference between judging people in life and them being judged in death.

Matthew 7:1-3

7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

According to Jesus, we'll all be judged, but it is to be done by God, not by us. If we deserve salvation, fine. If we deserve damnation, OK. However, people living on earth should not be putting their judgements on others.