this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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After my long relationship (7+), i started dating again. Unfortunately i discovered that no one is looking for a meaningful connection or a serious conversation. Everyone wants to catered and be heard, no one wants to listen for just a second. I actively stopped myself from flirting/dating anymore, it’s just a complete waste of time 🤷♂️im sorry to say many many many girls are VERY VERY superficial people.
Well anytime you see someone constantly complains that women won’t have meaningful or “deep” conversations, that women are superficial, calls women girls they are typically just sexist incels and have zero meaningful conversations beyond complaining…. O_o
Thankfully you are aware enough to write "typically" and know this commenter is an individual person with their own experiences and manner of speaking, so we shouldn't make assumptions!
I don't think they need to be shown any particular courtesy since they closed by bashing 'many many many girls' as superficial.
"My experience as a man dating has been many many girls are superficial" is in fact bashing many many girls... the ones who are superficial? If a woman said "many many men are superficial" I would say "correct. Sorry you had to deal with people like that." Not "stop bashing men" when the men they're talking about are the same people I would complain about!!!
To quote (emphasis mine):
"I discovered that no one is looking for a meaningful connection or a serious conversation. Everyone wants to catered and be heard, no one wants to listen for just a second."
In no way does the first part of the post make it sound like the commenter is qualifying the statement to only the subset of people they have dated.
I'm happily married, and I know people I would enjoy spending time with if I wasn't. The world doesn't seem bereft of thoughtful, intelligent, generous people to me. To me, it sounds like it's a problem with the commenter.
I guess I'm just not reading the literal exact words they wrote, but interpreting what they likely meant was "no one (in the large pool of people I have tried dating) is looking for a meaningful relationship." It's like psychoanalzying someone after they got dumped for saying "women are evil" and saying "omg this guy is an incel!" He's venting about a negative experience, not debating that women are all trash humans. Making generalizations because you're upset doesn't make you a bad person or an incel or...
E: also sounds like you're assuming the worst of some random dude on the internet rather than just seeing him as someone who's upset or in a bad situation.
If you've never run into the situation of living somewhere that everyone seems to only care about themselves I'm glad for you, but that absolutely does happen. I'm a pretty sociable person and moving from 1 city/neighborhood to another, I want nothing to do with "many, many" women around here because they are exactly as he described, there are some cool women too definitely, but the place I used to live had a majority really cool interesting and unique people. If I wasn't lucky enough to see personally that there are a lot of women who aren't surface level, I probably would've said the same thing as he did. Which is why I said the response I would have is "man that sucks sorry you have to deal with that."
True
Fair, I wish it wasn’t like this. It’s nobody fault really but how is it possible that the majority of my friends (man and women) have mental issues? Is it normal to be bombarded 24/7 with unrealistic standards and norms?
I bet many men are hyperfocusing on money in life because at the end of the day we see and being taught that money buys anything, women included. Do you blame them? Yes yes, it’s fucked up but do you really want to die alone? Because ugly, depressed and broke won’t cut it but ugly, depressed and rich will.
I’m just tired, people live in dreamland and I’m nobody’s daddy.
I'm expecting downvotes for this.
While I agree with you that social media is very harmful to everyone but especially young people, I think we've also socialized an entire generation to pathologize mental distress instead of teaching them resiliency.
You have my upvoted. This is 100 percent true! Especially here on Lemmy. I have seen people almost brag as they list their mental issues and meds they're taking!
Glad you didn’t take my comment as an attack, as many users here are too quick to get upset.
Is it just men or do all of us have mental issues, too materialistic, no home, no good job, no future? I think life is hard and it’s hard take chances to connect.
If men don’t have a good father, who is their role model?
Nah, people need to get their shit together if the first stranger online treatens them.
Yes, life is hard + we have been cuddled too much + life is getting harder + the past social norms are not valid anymore + lack of key figures. This is normal for 2025, it would be weird the opposite. Look at st Korea dating dynamic, the world is going there.
I don't want to point fingers but I'm also not going to take shits. You want to be treated like a princess? Good, jump into the lake and start fucking the frogs.
Yep!