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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon has a female friend (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 4 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 35 points 3 days ago (4 children)

IME the vast majority of women have no clue how to react to being rejected, because it almost never happens to them. As such, nearly all react badly or maladaptively regardless of conditions.

Conversely, for most men they have to endure rejection hundreds if not thousands of times before they strike it lucky. The small cohort that become maladaptive do so due to other social/societal reasons associated with the rejection, but vanishingly few react maladaptively purely because of the rejection.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago

Tell that to the surprisingly large number of men who threaten fucking violence against a girl for not wanting to go out with them.

I'm not saying you're entirely wrong, but it's not the only side of the story. Generally all people are really bad at handling emotions with other people, we need to make a stronger effort to turn these criticisms inward and figure out if our fears of other people are justified.

[–] LotrOrc@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

You're totally right there's absolutely no evidence of a vast majority of women being physically attacked or assaulted after rejecting a man who couldn't handle rejection...

Also if you got a thousand rejections before getting one yes then that might be a huuuge reason to look at yourself and how you come across. Hundreds of thousands of rejections have to be because of the person themselves, not the hundreds or thousands of people rejecting them.

[–] rolling@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Bruh, who the fuck is being rejected "hundreds, if not thousands" times? Maybe some people are, but thats such a red flag that I would argue then maybe they should change their approach in the first place.

Maybe you are exaggerating (it just makes you sound a bit like an incel, apologies), and I probably would argue men do get rejected more then woman, because men are still (mostly) expected to make the first move, but like you don't need experience handling rejection to not have a violent rage fit.

Edit: I have read another one of your replies down the chain, and uh yeah you definitely do sound a lot like an incel.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yea... I'm well into middle age and I've been rejected like a dozen or so times maybe. I'm not sure how you get rejected 100s or 1000s unless you're just swinging at everyone in your vicinity that happens to have a vagina. Maybe try talking to them first and see if there's some chemistry there before going for a date..

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I'm in my 30s and probably at over 100 rejections like, total in my life. I've never been looking for long term relationships so I do try with a larger number of women than most men. But like...hundreds of rejections between success? That's absurd. You'd run out of women.

[+] stevedice@sh.itjust.works -9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yay for casual misogyny.

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Our current western culture is one of violent misandry.

Women are being released from almost all historical expectations and constraints, which is wonderful and good. This is actual progress in action, however lopsided and gender-supremacy-like it might be.

Meanwhile, men are still constrained by all the historical expectations set out for them, yet have been completely stripped of all benefits that have traditionally accrued with those expectations being met. And yet, we are still being violently nailed to the wall - invariably by women ignoring and/or outright demeaning us - when we fail to meet those expectations.

This massive asymmetry that men experience is what is creating subgroups of disaffected men. Because 1ncels don’t just leap out of the ground, fully formed -- they are a direct response to the unintended consequences of women trying to eat their cake and to have it as well. Think about that next time women refuse to date down, or demand a “666 man”, or expect the man to pay on the first date, or any other archaic and gender-bigoted expectation.

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

Go back to 4chan, incel.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

While I agree with you, I don't think it's fair to characterize all of society as misandrist based on that. There's a significant number of things that you're ignoring or are not privy to, where women are harmed by men. The patriarchy isn't just this fantasy that feminists made up, it's a real thing, and while not as powerful as it used to be it still harms women substantially.

I think it's fairer to say that some parts of our culture are misandrist, some misogynist. And on the whole, women have it worse - but men also have it pretty bad.

[–] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Any man who has had the misfortune of finding out she didn't actually want him to open up to her when she said "you never let me in!" understands this double-standard.