this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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To add to this, you can do this to yourself as well. Reward yourself for the right behavior, tell yourself your did a good job, etc. It's (I'm guessing) harder than extrinsic motivation, but it still works. Take advantage of having a stupid lizard brain under all the stuff that makes us human.
I feel like this was ultimately the point of the love yourself movement. I don't know how you could convince yourself to love yourself without conditioning yourself to do it, too.
We very likely conditioned ourselves to hate ourselves, and it so clearly works, so absolutely we can use those same tools to teach ourselves to be kinder as well.
I spent a whole year writing a journal and that basically put it in writing that things weren’t quite as bad as I had thought. Even without doing it now my mind will go to better places automatically because I built up that reaction and understanding.