I'm kinda sick of it at this point, either give me a way to fix it, or the slack I give everybody else. If nobody was mortally threatened by my mistake, it's not worth endlessly rattling on or yelling about.

I HATE disappointing people but I'm going to, and sadly statistically at a higher rate than others. Forgive me and move on, or I'll forgive myself and do the same.

It honestly kinda crushes me but I've found myself candidly and sincerely saying things like:

"No I don't wanna go to / do that fun-sounding thing unless I've literally got the whole day for it, because whenever I have too much fun I end up in some kind of trouble where I totally forgot something important or I had some place to be or something, so nah."

I really do wish I could turn to whimsy or serendipity more often, but I'm just expecting to suddenly look at my phone and see missed calls and texts like "Are you almost here?" or "WHERE ARE YOU!?" or something of the like...

I'm even aware this seems like irrational anxiety but boy have I been burned before...