this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2025
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The media's portrayal of an insatiable sex drive for all men has negatively impacted some of my relationships (Women-only trans-inclusive community!) (piefed.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 days ago by mugthol@piefed.blahaj.zone to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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I have had the experience that men are very often portrayed in western media as having an insatiable sex drive. Contrary to women in media who seem to make up excuses such as having a migraine to avoid sexual contact. This often creates imbalances in these fictional straight relationships.

Now I've had the other problem in the past. I've found that I've initiated sex quite often but I've also often been declined. Having this image in my head that men are the ones who should always be up for sex, this definitely used to affect my self-worth a lot. I thought I was the problem, that I was not attractive enough. Over the years I had struggled with adjusting my expectations.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this but I though it might be nice to see if others had a similar experience

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[–] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Well I can only speak to the handful of men that I dated but they fall on a spectrum from can not stop even if their dick is raw and bleeding all the way out to completely no desire for sex at all.

Most just want it 1-2 times a week and I think there was a study showing women on average had the same sex drive as the average man (+/- 12%)

So don’t take it personally if he says no. He could be tired or stressed or depressed.

Also there is a segment that has responsive desire and don’t seek out sex but do enjoy it.

[–] mugthol@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I am doing much better with not taking it personally! Thanks for your perspective. It's not always easy but I definitely prefer a good relationship even if the sex could be more frequent

[–] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well is the goal of more sex to give you more orgasms or to spend more time feeling connected to your partner or is it how you are valuing how desirable that you are?

[–] mugthol@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can it not be both? Obviously orgasms are freat but sex with my partner is just a really special time with lots of laughing and cuddling between

[–] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

It can be but I made them separate because they have different routes to satiate them. If it were just need for more orgasms, toys and remote play could easily help. But if it is more desire for connection, there are a great many options available outside of sex and sexual activities.

Healthy relationships take care of needs; wants can be infinite and reasonable compromises exist for loving couples to be happy together for a long time.

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