Not really harmless tho, i’ve seen countless places turn into a trans circlejerk.

What exactly would that even be? "hnghh, we respect other people's choices and individuality, hngggh" How awful. All we want is to have the same respect and autonomy granted to straight and/or cis people to be granted to us.

As for the “caring” part, I don’t care whatever you are, just don’t mention it.

And that's harmful because unless you truly are consistent and also don't want men to mention their girlfriends or wives and for women to never mention their boyfriends or husbands around you, you're treating people differently based on their gender or sexuality, allowing someone to talk about their home life, what they may have done over the weekend with their partner, but only if it ain't gay or trans.