this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025
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Despite how a lady at the bookstore “struggled with” my pronouns and bounced off “he” several times before settling on “they” cause apparently she couldn’t bring herself to say “she.”

Shit’s hard out there.

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[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 5 days ago (28 children)

It does seem like cis people have a particular way of "seeing" gender, and it's hard when the body or gender presentation you have conflicts with what you want people to see.

I'm rather conformist, it's very important to me to do everything I can to make my body and gender presentation match what people expect from a woman, so they see a woman. I don't really expect the average person to see a woman if I don't look like one, and I feel really awkward expecting them to think of me as and see me as a woman when I don't appear as one.

That said, I understand the frustration, esp. if you provide pronouns and the other person doesn't make an effort to respect them - at best it seems impolite and rude, at worst it seems hostile and violent.

I really hated early in transition the way I went from tolerating the wrong pronouns (in pre-transition) to feeling like no pronouns worked for me - if someone used my "preferred" pronouns (she/her) it felt like they were just being polite. (I wanted to be a woman, not be coddled in my delusions and politely referred to as a woman while nobody actually sees me as a woman.)

On the other hand, if someone used a different pronoun it felt like they were being either impolite, forgetful, or outright hostile. Before transition it was easier to just swallow the he/him and remain under the cover of being "normal" - but after transition it was like I "ruined" my gender and my gender was never "right", and no pronoun felt safe or appropriate.

After a year and a half of estrogen injections, my body has changed enough to fit within cis standards for a woman, even though I can't see it myself. The estrogen, and of course all the immense amount of work I have put into trying to pass (voice therapy, skin care routine, diet, exercise, education on fashion and makeup, etc.).

It feels weird now, like I'm no longer "trans" in the same way because I am gender conforming enough now. So instead of being overtly trans, my transness is a hidden flaw in my gender, something only a small number of people can see (usually only other trans people), and which is lying there waiting to undermine my womanhood for anyone who notices.

I don't know what your gender goals are, but I really feel for non-binary folks whose gender expressions fall outside of what is commonly accepted, it is just so hard to get "seen" correctly by people when you are trans.

[–] pooberbee@lemmy.ml 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It's fine for you to conform and set those goals for yourself, but please don't put that on others. Not passing doesn't make a person nonbinary.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I don’t pass but I’m definitely binary. My goal isn’t even to pass (though if I could it would be nice, but there’s so much medical shit wrong with me it prolly won’t happen), but is to stay alive, safe, and respected in that order.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Sorry, I never meant to imply OP is non-binary - I just wanted to be sensitive and not assume they were binary; additionally I was thinking about how rough it is to live as a gender non-conforming person, esp. for some non-binary folks whose gender expressions and identities don't fit in society (and how that will always be true for them, it's not a rough stage that might end, as it can be for some binary trans folks early in their transition - that's just life for them, what is authentic to them is what creates friction in society, and that really sucks).

Not passing is entirely separate from identity, and identity can be quite separate from expression, too. Some trans women are binary but never medically or socially transition, their expression conforms to cis male norms their whole lives - but they're still women, for example.

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