this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
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small lil "being-triggered" vent
So my cousin got engaged over the weekend, she found herself a top notch bloke and she's a star herself so perfect combo.I'm not jealous of that, I don't care about being married or not and it isn't important to me in any way - deep or superficial. I'm envious of how her mum is so happy and proud and keeps gushing about her - I just know that my dad just wouldn't talk about me like that, and my mum isn't in my life and she isn't the type to care about my accomplishments either. I'm sad that no matter what I do, what I accomplish, or big (to me) achievements, I don't have a parent who would talk about me like that, so proud and open about being proud.
I'm so happy for my cousin, she's a fantastic person and has been through so much - she deserves this happiness and her mum to gush about her. I feel bad for being triggered by my aunt's love for her daughter - I guess I still have a long way to go to reconcile not having a parent be so openly loving to and about me.
Just needed to get this out into the world, I can't talk to my family about this, especially not now, and my partner doesn't really get it as his parents are wonderful. I'm sorry.
When you have difficult or non existant parental relationships, stuff like this always highlights what you don't have. You're not wrong for feeling that way, and their absence in your life is not a reflection of how wonderful you are as a human being. Some parents just suck. โค๏ธ
It's important be able to talk about these things in the open sometimes.
I'm sort of in the same position you are, and honestly, it hurts.
It doesn't mean I'm not happy for my friends, but I'd be lying if I didn't feel a pang of sadness.
Sometimes the happiest days, are also the saddest.
Hang in there โค๏ธ
YES. I find talking openly completely removes shame.
but I do worry I am bringing my loved ones, my real fam, down
Sometimes when I read or watch shows where people have happy, supportive parents, I actually can't help but cry because how different might life be if I was encouraged instead of shut down?
So, I totally understand how you feel. And it's one of those both things can be true situations: you can be so happy for your cousin, but you can also envy her. I've spent years in therapy thanks to my parents, but the truth is, it'll always be a little wound somewhere on me that opens it. I'm just better at treating it now.
I know this sounds like tripe, but we love you! We're proud of you! Too many of us in here understand! We gotcha back!
so many hugs
and you're not alone in this, I understand it perfectly
just last night I dreamt of my father using slur words at me , I basically told him he was a bad father and should have been supportive and spoken well to me
and then on waking I realised, I have never had a nice dream of my father or sister, not one . That kinda made me sad. I've never missed them either.
In my own life as a parent I have tried to be as open and loving and supportive as I can be and I am so lucky to have the Young Seagoons, they are really good people.
That's the one blessing isn't it. We're working hard to make sure our kids don't ever have to feel that.
it is
so many hugs to you and yours
This seems like their failing, not yours.