I’m a 27 year old single mom with a 12 year old son (Yes I was 15 when I had him) and I got out of a physically/sexually abusive relationship with my son’s biological father a few years ago. I haven’t had any serious relationships since then, but recently I’ve been feeling kind of lonely and exhausted since I work two jobs and take care of my son. I was planning on getting back into dating, so I was wondering if I could get a man’s perspective on how to navigate dating as a single mom since most men aren’t willing to take on my “baggage” (Hate this term). I’ve been hit on quite a few times by men my age in public places when i’m alone on the street or at the gym, but when I tell them I have a kid they seem to be immediately disinterested. (Not necessarily blaming them)
I’m looking for a long term partner who is obviously very willing to take on the task of being a father. Outside of great personal qualities, I’d like someone who can help me financially just enough so I can quit one of my jobs and provide a great life for my son. Sexual compatibility would be a bonus as well lol. I definitely want to make sure they are the one before I bring them home to my son, and I also want to make sure my son is comfortable around them as well. Dunno if I’m asking for too much? I would love some advice from a man’s perspective because it feels like there’s so much to consider. How early do I tell someone about my kid? If they are fine with a kid, are they willing to support me somewhat financially? What if my son doesn’t like them? It feels like I’m asking for so much out of a man that’s already impossible to find.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
I see a lot of good advice here. Something to add to this: when being upfront about having a kid, also be upfront about his age. This can work in your favour, because there are men that don't like very young children, but are fine with teenagers.