1085
Words matter.
You aren't writing an academic paper. Always use simple direct language.
- Help the poor
- Healthcare for everyone
- Good treatment at work.
Don't use complex words.
this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
1085 points (99.6% liked)
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"Cis" is fucking silly, that's why I don't like it. We already had "hetero". It's like "they/them" for an individual. Try reading a novel where one charter is "they/them". It's needlessly confusing, and bring the hate, it's a stupid fad. Seen this kinda thing come and go, 20-years, no one will be using it.
It's literally been used in the singular for hundreds of years for any individual where the gender is not known, and has never in my life been confusing. For example:
"The suspect entered the store, then they exited through the back."
English is my first and nearly only language and has been for 42 years, and there has never been a time that a singular "they" was not used. It is not a fad, the fad is taking issue with it. And hopefully in 20 years we won't have to deal with this fake "all of a sudden" bullshit, whether it's "they/them," vaccines, or any other nonsense that people suddenly take issue with because some talking head told them to and acted like it was new.
While it's true that the singular they/them has been used for a very long time, it was used in a very narrow context. It was used almost exclusively for an unknown person, or a theoretical person. In your example, the suspect is unknown, if it was known that it was a male suspect or a female suspect, the suspect would no longer be as unknown and so the sentence would probably be changed to "The suspect entered the store, then she exited through the back."
You can tell that it had a very restricted use because of how "themselves" was used. For example, "anybody who wants one can get themselves a beer". That's a singular construction, but in a way that it might apply to multiple people individually. There was no need for "themself" because "they" was always used for unknown or theoretical people.
Using it for a known person, especially a person who might be currently sitting in the room, is a brand new and confusing use. Now, it's not like English doesn't have other confusions, even around pronouns. Take: "she was drunk and her mother was angry, and she slapped her". Who slapped whom? Sometimes the pronouns alone aren't enough and you need to restructure the sentence to make it more clear. But, the fact that the singular they is used with the same verb forms as the plural they can add extra confusion. Take a non-binary player playing a team sport: "They're not playing well but they are." If the personal pronoun version used "is" instead of "are" it would be less confusing in situations like this, but it would be more confusing in other ways because "they" could use both plural and singular verb forms.
It would be just as confusing if people suddenly started using "one" as a pronoun not used for a theoretical person, but for a concrete and actual person. One has been used as a subject pronoun: "One must remain vigilant", and an object pronoun: "Wounds can make one weary." But, it is always a theoretical construction, it has never been used to refer to a specific, known person. So, it would be confusing to start using it that way: "Give it to one, one doesn't have one yet." But, even that would be less confusing than singular "they", because at least "one" uses singular verb forms, etc.
They/them for a specific, known individual is a new way of using "singular they" and it adds a lot of confusion You can argue that despite the confusion it's necessary, but you can't pretend that it doesn't add confusion.
I don't think it adds any more confusion than the pre-existing pronoun confusion you already described as part of the language (your she and her example) and there is already an established answer for it (you don't use a pronoun for one of them, you use their actual name or what you are referring to).
Pretending that it adds some grand new confusion that makes it difficult to keep up with because in very rare circumstances someone who is already really bad at communicating with pronouns (because one would have to have problems with your "she slapped her" reference to have problems with singular they/them) might have difficulty communicating what they mean by "them."