Hi dad, unfortunately my biological dad doesn't offer me his support, so I write here.
I am 26 years old and I am living with my parents but I really wish I had the energies to move out. My parents are physically abusive towards one another, my mother suffers from schizophrenia and thinks everyone hates her, uses me as a punchbag for her emotions and criticizes all of my choices. My father cheats on her and is emotionally unavailable for me. If I were a normal person I'd just head out of here, but unfortunately "normal" I am not as I myself suffer from diagnosed general (and quite strong) anxiety and I think some depression as well and everything seems so difficult for me.
I also feel really ashamed for having failed college, sometimes I even feel 'stupid' because of it. Now I’m working as an unskilled employee, and it makes me afraid to move out because I constantly worry: will I be able to find another job?
On top of that, I feel a lot of pressure at work. I’m the only one who can maintain and develop the company’s software. While we have other team members, like an AI prompt engineer, a backup engineer, several people in sales, and a graphic designer, I’m the only actual developer. My colleagues have told me that if I left it would be very difficult for them to keep things running, and some even said they'd have to quit too. That kind of responsibility weighs heavily on me.
I'd also love to go back at college but time is running up before I lose the credits I acquired. But I don't know how I could study while also maintaining myself with a full time job.
Sorry dad for pouring all that on you. I really don't know what to do and I feel really lost. A hug would be more than enough.
This, 100 times over. Check what the job market thinks of your skills. Do some interviews here and there. Always plan job changes while you still have one, that's the best way to earn more so that you can safely jump ship.
I also wanna highlight that while it's awesome of you to keep the company afloat by staying as the main dev, you are the only one looking out for yourself. You need to change jobs and get out as soon as is feasible. It's admirable that you think of your boss and colleagues, but you need to make sure you are fine. And if the company can't handle that, that is not something you should think about; you got bigger fish to fry.
Also do it one by one: first, change jobs so you make more money, think about moving in with someone you trust for a while, plan your exit. Second, change jobs to earn enough to afford everything and maybe a little bit of therapy, slowly work up the buffer to make college available again, and then think about how to manage it when you're there. But do it one by one. Switching jobs to earn more and to get out is your top priority.
That said, the resilience you have is an incredible gift. I know it doesn't sound like much but when you're on the other side, it will be a super power that can get you through more than anyone else, and you will see what I see. I'm proud of you for how far you've come and how far you'll go and I'll be here rooting for every step.