this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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Why do men keep on having dates with me and then eventually leave? (lemmy.zip)
submitted 2 weeks ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/askmen@lemmy.world
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So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

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[โ€“] morphballganon@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Unfortunately it's impossible for us to tell you what's going on in these guys' heads. They might not all leave for the same reason.

If it's after several dates then it's clearly not due to your gender. Probably more niche personality mismatches. Might not be a dislike, might be more of a "not feeling it" thing.

[โ€“] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

I don't have these kinds of problems when I don't disclose. And I'm not saying that I've dated anyone without disclosing but every male friend I had did end up trying to date me (my friends don't know about it). I notice the difference in behavior, when they don't know what I am they act as if I was the last glass of water in the desert.