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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:
when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue
to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence
I didn't ask to have BPD. I didn't ask for inability to regulate emotions. I can only be me. I definitely cannot pretend to be relaxed or fun. That's not just me. Relaxed side of me comes out slowly.
I am not asking for every woman to date me or even go out with me. All I am asking for is a bit of empathy. But if that's too much, well. I cannot change anyone's mind.
p.s., I wish I were not born. But, that is out of my hands too.
This post is not talking about you, don't worry about it.
As a man experiencing a lack of friendship, camaraderie, and emotion connection, regardless of fault or cause, the OP reduces that experience to "not getting laid". That affects me regardless of never actually using the phrase "male loneliness epidemic" to describe anything, of whether I fall into some 100 pages of "exceptions", or that the post doesn't explicitly say "those experiences don't exist". To say that the OP doesn't actually communicate that is to simply close one's eyes to an inconvenient truth of how people work.
Being told something has an impact. Even if it can be rationalized as "not about me". Even if what was said isn't what was intended. Even if some comments express support for people like me (and ignoring everyone who doubles down on it). Even if "big boy learns people say mean things sometimes". What do you think that impact is gonna be here? For someone sharing my experiences who doesn't stop to dig into this post, I doubt that impact is to move them towards being the sort of healthy, happy person we'd want.
Do you go on the internet often? All posts are like this. All posts generalize. All posts have a long list of implicit exceptions that are not stated.
Would you get upset about a post that says having bad spelling is a skill issue that could be fixed with practice, even though you appear not to have a skill issue with spelling?
If your answer is yes, then you should get off the internet, it is literally doing damage to you. You are literally jumping in front of bullets that are not meant for you.
Alright then, tell us your criteria for men to follow to be truly lonely, since you're so sure that BPD apparently disqualifies you.
What? All I am saying is that this person isn't the target of this post. It sounds like they would have a very hard time doing the things the OP suggested. There is more than one way to be not lonely. I hope they try some other advice that is easier for them.
Yeah, it kind of is.
No it isn't. For example:
If the original poster said "It's a skill issue, all you need to get a partner you need to shake their hand".
And then the imaginary fckreddit was like "I didn't ask to have no arms. I didn't ask for an inability to do a shake hands. I can only be me...."
Do you see how it this was not targeting imaginary fckreddit. It can't be a skill issue on imaginary fckreddit's part because they have no arms.
Just like it can't be a skill issue on the real fckreddit's part because they lack the ability that most people have in that area though no fault of their own.
OP can't literally specify all the possible exceptions to their advice. The post would be 100 pages.
It's hard ro feel that way when this is constantly brought up. At best it feels like I am just being told that I am 'one of the goods'
I get it. I have ADHD and Dyslexia. All I need to do is clean my room lol.