this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2025
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Off My Chest

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i'm scared for our future (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 days ago by nonBInary@thelemmy.club to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
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so i (f) recently got into a talking stage with "isla" (nb) and we kinda have a "slow burn" type thing going on. i'm lowkey scared because they really do wanna decide if we should be friends or be in a relationship. i really like them and want a relationship with someone and also don't want to rush. last time i rushed, things went badly and ended in a few months.

i'm scared, though, they will decide i'm a better friend than a gf, though there are some good signs like them at least having feelings for me.

i know we'll still get to chat if they decide we should just be friends but i guess i'm just scared for whatever reason. i don't mean to be panicky, i guess i'd just like to have someone who's more than a friend.

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[–] 11111one11111@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

My advice is based on experience in traditional relationships, I admittedly have no clue how the whole non-binary relationship shit works so I apologize if this doesnt help.

  1. The only relationships that last are between two people who are best friends.

  2. Dont try to predict potential relationships based on individual past relationships because every person will react differently. (I see the irony of giving my advice based on my past relationships but really im providing generalizations from decades of my relationships and people in relationships who are close to me)

  3. Worry less about where something is going with someone and spend more time enjoying what you have in the moment.