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Well spoken, i blame myself more than anything for my first marriage. I married the first girl that put out basically and it was a huge mistake. Although i learned valuable lessons along the way like working hard to support a home and such we were never really meant for each other. Verbal abuse was constant and the environment toxic, eventually leading to cheating with others on both sides although she started it. Looking back i would’ve got to know her better instead of first date sex but then again i was 19 and it seemed like an awesome deal at the time. I just wished that 13-14 years weren’t wasted on that but hey you live and learn. After leaving i found myself scared because im although i desire love i wasn’t sure if i could go through it again so i slept around. This was a mistake as it didn’t make me happier and i don’t look back in awe of any of it. I’m not sure if ill find “true love” if I’m even capable of it, or if I’m even capable of it and that’s what rattled me more than anything. I’m not perfect and no one is but add time goes on i see the flaws in myself and although i try to improve done things are innate. I need to work on my impulsive response more than anything and learn patience. So am i ready to move on after 3 and a half years, who knows. I’m ready mentally but an i ready to throw my flawed self at someone else…. That remains to be seen.
In conclusion i think I’ll try to find love again; but I’m nervous and scared.