this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2025
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If they're so great, how come I use their goo to spend 4 hours a day stuck in traffic?
That goo, once burned is what is causing global warming.
The dinosaur's curse for not letting them rest in peace....
Man... Imagine how fucked we would be if we burned mummies!
I mean people ate them so I’d say you know the answer to that…
Bro this is stressing me out I'm gonna go snort some of granpappies mummy stash.
Teriyaki flavored?
The goo is trees that were buried before bacteria and fungi learned to eat hydrocarbons. 0% dinosaurs.
Well, I mean, I can probably only guarantee no more than 3% dinosaur.
Whoa whoa, if my car is getting a larger percentage of incidental dinosaur from its refined petroleum products than the percentage of incidental spider legs and rat shit I myself am getting from my processed food products, I am going to be totally jealous.
I know! And you should be. Industrial standards in the Carboniferous Period were seriously lax. All the upper management and lawyers were trilobites!
It was a rough time back then. But a simpler time...
Algae?
Your car runs on algae?
Yes.
Weird. I've just been shoving dinosaur bones into mine. 🤷♂️
Paleontologists hate this one weird trick!
Must be diesel. If you can get it to combust under high air pressure, a diesel will probably run off it.
Well... its mostly plant and fungus goo actually
Still.
I hope some future species burns our liquefied matrix black corpse goop, it's what we deserve.