often means every 4 to 6 months, a visit to the hospital: unfamiliar surroundings, he becomes stressed and aggressive.
Nursing facility is kinda a weak answer because it takes the whole responsibility away from you, it simply transfers this responsibility to an overcrowded facility with unsustainable ratios, burned out caregivers and corporations selling you the idea they do actually care (BS) while you, naively, buy it. Your expectation is they're going to care as much as you, which is a lie: an overworked nurse is going to do the best she can but she has other patients in the facility, other patients with dementia and mood swings, patients trying to escape or sexually assault the young, fit nurse and as soon as she finds something better, she is abandoning ship.
This is modern slavery, but this is a subject for another post.
Options I see: sedate him so he becomes a plant, something I'm against. What kind of life would that be?
Another option I personally feel inclined to: don't medicate him to the point he becomes a plant, let him feel he is young again and whatever happens, happens. He is no longer aware of his age, enjoys cartoon books, let him live and die as happy and oblivious as he can be, even if this means his life is going to be much shorter. If we lock him down, he becomes either angry or depressed, he feels trapped.
I need a dnr/dni btw.
I can already hear some sisters yelling at me and calling me callous and worse things.
staying with him 24/7 is not an option, because we all have lives and jobs to do. At this point he needs constant attention.
There are no clean solutions to this. No matter what you do, it gets pretty dark pretty quick. You could stay in the moral gray area or dive into some really dark topics.