this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2025
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Need advice (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by wintervoid@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

**So i'm in a bit of a weird position in my life right now. I've known i'm trans for the past 3ish years and recently started college. Most of the people around me seem to be pretty supportive and my parents are also supportive. I already have everyone calling me by my choice name but other then that I havent done anything I really want to actually start to transition so I can stop being depressed and there are some moments where like i really want to buy fem clothes but i go on amazon and its just too big of a mental hurdle to do anything related to transitioning has anyone else experianced something like this where they were in a place where they could transition and nothing was preventing them but they were just too scared to if so how did you deal with it?

Edit: Thanks so much for the advice everyone I think going on hrt is too scary for me but I'll order some fem clothes tomorrow. I really appreciate the advice and kind words <3

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[–] lwhjp@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Not exactly the same, but starting out I felt really apprehensive about going out in overly feminine clothing. I guess I was embarrassed about possibly looking like a parody of a woman, or maybe just doing something new that I wasn't used to. Anyway, the times when I gave in to my fear and wore something plain and androgynous, I'd feel terrible, like I was suppressing myself. I wanted to look and feel pretty and feminine!

So whenever I was choosing my clothes for the day and I felt that "are you sure?" fear, I remembered that feeling of betraying myself by not wearing what I wanted to. At first I did have to force myself a bit, kind of not think about what I was doing, but as soon as I got outside and realized that nobody cared what I was wearing, I could relax and enjoy feeling good about myself. It got a lot easier pretty quickly after that.

I guess my answer is yeah, it is scary and I totally understand being reluctant to take that first step. (On the other hand, you've already come out and are using a new name! I'd have thought that was a much bigger hurdle than a few clothes.) Try not to think too hard about it. You're just ordering clothes; you don't have to wear them, or show them to anybody. Then you can just wear them in your room; nobody has to see. And finally when you're used to that, make a short trip outside, or whatever. Baby steps. If at any point it turns out you don't like it, you can always stop, no harm done, right?

[–] wintervoid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Also that feeling of betraying yourself that you described is exactly how I felt too which kind of helps with imposter syndrome actually

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

for imposter syndrome, I highly recommend reading Yes, You Are Trans Enough by Mia Violet, that book was really helpful for me when I first transitioned 💜

[–] lwhjp@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 22 hours ago

Yes! I second that. I grew up in a similar environment and it was very reassuring to read about Mia's experiences and thoughts.

[–] wintervoid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago

I really appreciate the advice I think I'm gonna just try buying some fem clothes tomorrow

[–] wintervoid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago

Thank you so much I really appreciate the advice <3