this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2025
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I'm sorry you're experiencing this. It's hard to meet people in a big city.
Amongst the chaos of Melbourne, I'm glad you've come here, and I hope you remember that this is a safe place for you :)
Is a move in the horizon?
I agree with you
I want to go out too, but with people I genuinely feel connected to. My closest friend at the moment is in Sydney. Even though much of her life is there, she still makes me feel like a priority in her life. I have another close friend who I talk to often, but only see her about once every two months as she lives far. The rest of my "friends" are always too busy, disrespect my time in some way, or are only interested in talking to me when they're wanting to go out and have no one to go with. Most of these people have established friend groups that they'd rather hang out with. Of course, as there is a common theme here, I do think that I am the problem in a lot of these instances. I have enabled their shitty behaviour by hanging out with them. However, I'm still hopeful that 'my people' are out there. I have heard of Aussies going overseas and connecting with other Aussies there. I am considering moving overseas at some point or even just getting flatmates.So for now, I will be doing stuff alone but also going to events to meet new people. I downloaded meetup the other day and am going to a few events from there. Not expecting to make friends from it, but at least I won't be a hermit.
I’m sorry you’re also having these kinds of difficulties. I have people like you describe, generally only contact me when they want me to do something for them or go out because they don’t want to go out alone.
I wasted a lot of time convincing myself that those people were friends. In the end I’d rather have no one than friends like that.
I definitely feel like a hermit. Mostly because of where I live and that med that I was taking.
I figure I’ve been given a 2nd chance. And I’m going to take it and run with it as far and as hard as I can. I don’t mind that things are difficult or are going to take time to fix, but in the moment, it can hurt like hell to see the reality of your situation.