Where I live, Germany, it is very common to spend weeks, sometimes even months, trying to slowly get a child used to going to day care. In my home country, the Netherlands, this wasn't really a thing when I was younger and, from what I've learned from people with young children there, isn't common even today. That got me thinking.
Are there many differences between countries when it comes to day care and specifically getting your children to go to day care in the first place?
We're currently getting our second child used to day care. For our first child the entire process took six weeks and represented the Idea trajectory - nobody was ill, she liked going there, she liked eating there and she didn't make a fuss when it was time to sleep there. Still, this represents a significant investment of time (and therefore money) for any working parent. Sometimes it seems really absurd and impractical. I get the impression that the entire day care system in Germany revolves around the idea that mothers don't work or, if they do, it's only ever part time.
How does this look like in other countries? I've linked an article (in German, but translation services are available) about the system we're stuck with here, if anyone wants to dive deeper.
In the US our child started going at 6 weeks old. Daycare (and now preschool) is just as normal to her as being at home. Especially since in her three years she’s probably had over a dozen different teachers. She’s learned to warm up to new people and situations quickly.
I also work in an elementary school. (5 to 11 years old). I see kids that didn’t go to school at all before coming to us. Even some are homeschooled for a few years before starting school. I can usually tell the difference between kids who went to some kind of preschool (3-4 year old program, even part time) and who hasn’t. It’s not always a bad thing but it’s a harder adjustment for those kids.
Where I live, here in Germany, it's unusual for children younger than one to go to any kind of day care. Starting at around age one I'd estimate that around one third of children go to day care. By age three virtually all children go to Kindergarten. In my home country, the Netherlands, it's much more common for children younger than one to go to day care.
What I find baffling though is that this German system is that it's fully geared towards mothers staying at home for very long periods of time. Not only does this not make sense on a macroeconomic level, but it also deprives people of social interactions that don't stem from being a parent, at least in my opinion.
Well, at least our day care is dirt cheap here, coming in at 280 € per month per child for five days a week between 7 am and 4 pm.
Out daycare costs were between $205-305 a week, so between $820-1,225 a month. Once she’s 5, school is free.
Being a new mom can definitely be isolating and I’m not a person who does well at being home. I like being active and doing things. I don’t regret having my kid in daycare. I do think the United States needs to do better at giving mothers the choice though. It’s almost impossible to be a single income family, especially with multiple children. But then daycare is so expensive too.