this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2025
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Autism
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Counterpoint: I'm already expected to spend a third of my life working with these people.
I'm not an ogre and I definitely don't live like I need to get the most work possible done before I die. I just take an extreme approach to work/life balance: work stays at work, private life stays at home as much as possible. For one thing, I've overshared with bosses and had things used against me in department meetings or reviews. For another thing, how much do people really want to know about my daughter or my crazy z80 assembly project? Because I'll bet it's way less than I'd want to share.
To that end, what's the most important thing for me to know? Connor is "crazy into craft beers" and took his whole family to Sandals last July, or Connor goes to pieces when there's a SEV and hides his mistakes until they become problems? One of these things can be learned from corporate icebreaking exercises. The other comes from the 33% of my life I already spend with him.
I have work friends, and try to be as friendly as the circuits allow with everyone. I've worked with a few of these friends across multiple companies. I've road tripped to festivals with a couple of them. I try to keep things cordial with the ones I don't hang out with after hours because work's already hard enough without me being an asshole. And I know one fun fact about everyone on my team (likes to run, D&D / cosplay guy, also likes to BBQ); I learned exactly zero of these things through corporate exercises.
Besides, everyone's just nodding their heads waiting for their turn to talk.