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this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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I have come to understand that the whole "don't say no" thing is less about directly saying no and leaving it at that and more about taking the time to explain things to your child.
When it comes to new situations for things that I haven't yet encountered I don't just say no. I sit down with them and explain to them why.
Yes there are times when I will just say no, like when they know what the answer is going to be and understand why but are just doing it to do it, or if there isn't time in that specific moment to explain I would preface it with that and then explain it later.
I think people misinterpret the whole don't say no thing sometimes and literally just give their kids whatever they want which is obviously not good. Boundaries are not optional, and like you mention it is a flawed way of thinking and will absolutely lead to problems down the road.