Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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I figured it out around the time I turned 34. It destroyed my marriage and made me the most depressed I ever have been. It's become a secret that I want out, but am terrified it'd ruin my relationship with my family and friends. There's so much positivity about transitioning, but it's been the most transformative experience of my life for reasons entirely separate from my body.
That said, my experience is unlikely to be yours. And even mine has some joy in it. Some of the first glimpses of happiness on the other side of depression were being able to look in the mirror and see at least some of the woman I wanted to be. It's also been liberating because of things like your question about sexuality. There's no rules, no requirements, and it's entirely to you to decide your identity.
I'm not going to say it's easy. HRT, in particular, has been a hell of a thing. You get to feel more, but that swings so hard both ways. There's been days that have been starting out well and end in tears for inconsequential reasons. But the most important thing I've found is a support network. Having someone, anyone to talk to makes it easier. If you can afford a therapist, I'd highly recommend it.
The point of this downer of a comment is that despite all the bad that's come with it, I'm still all in on this. I can't un-realize it, I can only repress it, and that does no one any good. The answer of "wtf you're supposed to do with this" is different for everyone, but it doesn't have to be a burden. It is what you make of it, and even with the hurt it's caused, it's been something that I've grown to love. You don't have to pick out new clothes or start presenting yourself to others today, or even this year. Go however fast you're comfortable with, and know that (at least with the Internet, and maybe even in your town) there're resources that can help, if you reach out.
I appreciate your perspective ๐ I'm super scared it would ruin my marriage, which sucks because I am quite fond of my wife.
Unfortunately, that's going to be entirely dependent on her. But if you do try to bury it to keep it from her, you'll be risking it coming up later, too. The upside is that if she does accept, you'll have someone to talk to and confide in, and who can help you through the process.