this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2025
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Toxic masculinity is a global phenomenon, but nowhere is it more virulent than in this hypermodern, connected society. What can other countries learn from this ‘ground zero’ of misogyny?

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[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also abusers are proficient at hiding themselves until they have a potential victim in a vulnerable positio

Correct and that's why good parenting is key. And if somebody'a parents don't teach these skills, than either that person has to do it on their own or fall into the cycle of abuse.

I suppose the reason there's such a strong outcry to change our culture here is because it has made ideal conditions for men to become abusers to women and to each other without recourse.

These people won't be fixed, they must be avoided. Hence why my point above about partners. By the time somebody is in an abusing dynamic, it is already top late.

The ones who do get punished are ones that just failed their stealth check to misuse power within what our culture considers acceptable.

We literally got rich pedophiles getting away with child rape for decades and FBI is protecting them from justice. Only loser men get in trouble it seems and only sometimes. Can't rely on the system or society on such things. I have lost any faith in the system.

People should be taught to help themselves first and for most. Then help people around them whenever they can. The best one can hope from the system is to not get fucked by it.

https://www.motherjones.com/criminal-justice/2024/10/victim-suspect-pbs-newshour-sexual-assault-rape-teen-polk-county-florida/

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That's kind of a component of the problem though: everybody thinks that they're parenting good and you may be able to teach them other things but usually you can't tell them how to raise their children. There's, just like a cognitive resistance to that. Some sort of cultural narcissism about the very act of parenting.

I don't think anyone thinks you shouldn't avoid abusers. Everyone's already doing our best. If it was something that can be done on an individual level or simply being raised right, they wouldn't be a problem. You should read into the concept of "whisper networks" though. They're a flawed tool but they're sadly the most effective systemic solution for some women to avoid predatory men. They kind of fail outside of that specific dynamic though

I worry your final sentiment there is a trap. We men are dying because we're trying to navigate this alone. We need to be there for another and teach another how to break this problem which is cyclical. Yes, the system is built to turn us into monsters but I got out. Women in my life taught me to divest myself of power even though they were themselves victimized. And if you're on this comm then you're obviously looking for a way out of that cycle too. I haven't looked at your profile but I assume you've reached out to guide other men along a gentler path at least once in your life.