this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I came here around the time the rif app shut down, and the general vibe I get from this place is much more negative than when I joined. Is Lemmy growing more toxic or is it just my imagination?

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[–] cecilkorik@lemmy.ca 143 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Check your communities, and what instances they're on. Not all are created equal. lemmy.ml tends to be pretty wacko unless you're of their particular ideological alignment, lemmy.world is very very large and thus has a very very large number of obnoxious shitheads compared to other instances. On the other hand, beehaw.org is intentionally and pathologically positive. I also find lemmy.ca quite friendly, though I might be biased.

[–] Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 76 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Can confirm some asshole on .ml is chasing around my comments wasting both our time, isn't that right mistermodal, you incel loser.

[–] pilferjinx@piefed.social 60 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Lemmy users are much more entrenched ideologically than an average layman. We all have strong opinions and it can get pretty heated. I avoid posting inflammatory posturing if I'm self aware enough. But I'm just as human and fallible as the rest.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

And they think the real world is reflective of what we talk about here. It's truly bizarre. I'm terminally online, unemployed ATM, but I still get there's an outside world.

Take all the Trump voter hate for example. Do they not truly understand how under and misinformed most Americans are? Watch Mamdami interview Trump voters in NYC. Not ONE was what we picture as MAGA.

Also, since Trump 1.0, people refuse to talk politics. We're at a party last month and talking about my new, weird, .22 rifle. I started to bring up a thing in the Big Beautiful Bill that was on-topic and the only thing I find decent in it. "NO. We're not talking politics." "I'm NOT. I'm talking about one thing I think is cool and will help gun owners." Jesus. Now we gotta dance on eggshells.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Do they not truly understand how under and misinformed most Americans are?

Um, that's exactly why we are pissed off at them. It's easier than ever to be informed yet people act like it's harder, somehow. Pretty fucking enraging.

In my experience, no one but trumpers refuse to talk politics. And it's because they want to remain actively ignorant. Can't have anyone revealing the giant holes in their fucked worldview. You might turn them trans, after all.

[–] natebluehooves@pawb.social 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

i’m on the spectrum and can’t handle political conversations if the other person is being confrontational. this doesn’t/shouldn’t make me a right winger, but would make you assume as much about me.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

I was talking about in real life, and with people I know well enough to talk about anything remotely deep. Further, I didn't say I would be confrontational in all cases.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah, the total destruction of community and third-places is I think the #1 cause of the division of political discourse, but second is that people refuse to engage with other human beings on the topic. They watch TV or browse online, and they get one extremely biased view of the world. They don't share it with other people where they could get other points of view.

It used to be people would get the paper and talk about it with each other, but that's taboo now. You take it to an online community who all agree with you. There's a reason why the infamous Thanksgiving family gathering caused strife. It's because people were actually having discussions and disagreements. Disagreement is healthy, but people seem allergic to it now.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Disagreement is only healthy if both people are approaching it with the desire to further their understanding

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Honestly, I disagree still. That's the ideal, but even just seeing that there are other opinions held by people you care about is good. If you live in an echo chamber where everyone agrees with you then you think you must be right on everything.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Disagreement with unreasonable people does not change your opinions, it hardens them in the worst way. Also I don't care about the people making unreasonabke arguments

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think it depends on the situation. I'm not saying to spend time arguing with them. I'm just saying showing them there's another position that reasonable people they know hold is good. Most people are told the only people who hold a different position than them are crazy people.

I do care about these people, because they vote.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Reasonable take, I see what you're saying now

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

under and misinformed most Americans are

Which is weird, because we are all here. It's almost like it's not that hard to find the truth, you just have to be actually invested in finding out what the truth is.

Is malicious ignorance malicious?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Well, many of us are on the spectrum whether that be ADD, ADHD, Asperger's, or some other form of autism. Helps us to be highly technical and computer savvy, doesn't help so much with attempting to reframe "right and wrong," for most of us.

Unfortunately the very entrenchment, ideologically speaking, that these particular "character traits" cause most of us to have, are being celebrated as "immunity to propaganda" in the media. The reality is that we have an innate sense of right and wrong, and that shit can get skewed all over the place in your formative years. The only remedy I have seen for this is the person intentionally exposing themselves to other cultures.

[–] Scotty_Trees@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Someone more self aware than me!? How dare you! /s

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

lemmy.world is very very large and thus has a very very large number of obnoxious shitheads

Yeah? Yeah, you think so? Obnoxious? Yeah? You sayin' there's obnoxious shitheads round these parts? That what you're sayin'? Just wanna be clear! Well you're wrong! Lemmy.World isn't large at all. The whole fediverse combined isn't very large! Not like my penis! Can't believe you said Lemmy.World is full of obnoxious shitheads! Why would you think that? Can I have $20? Your mom gave me $20! Heyyyoooo!!!!

[–] Jomega@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Is lemmy.ml is the second largest instance? Or at least rapidly growing? That would explain why it feels this way.

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 36 points 3 days ago (2 children)

.ml is the instance run by the developers of the Lemmy fediiverse software, and they themselves are tankies. Do with that information what you will.

[–] everett@lemmy.ml 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Do with that information what you will

Hey, some of us made our accounts when this was the Lemmy instance.

[–] TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

o7

Some of us joined much later when the apicalypse happened.

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I see a lot more assholes from .world and .shtjstwrks

.ML peeps are either chill or really cringe depending on how militant they are.

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

The majority of shit stains I see are from .ml while .world is a close second.

[–] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

It's just .works, really.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago
[–] devdoggy@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

.ml stands for Marxist\Lenin afaik. And the mods\admins take it very seriously.

[–] devdoggy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Since they were the first they used to be the biggest, however they are declining.

[–] Quexotic@infosec.pub 6 points 3 days ago

I wouldn't call beehaw pathologically positive. They just seem to bee some very nice people that caught to create a community of nice people. It's not a pathology, it's a common understanding.