this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2025
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I would recommend reading the Baby decision to people. It's a very open minded examination, despite what the title might implicate also very open and supportive for childless/childfree mindset. Even touches topics like, just because you like kids, doesn't mean you have to have them, you can teach, volunteer for after school activities, etc.
I think the single most important take away from it is that whether you decide to have kid(s) or not, you give something up.
You also have to go into it responsibly and it's also okay to reevaluate as you go along, e.g. just because you wanted 3 kids before getting married, doesn't mean you can't take a moment to reevaluate after the first if you still want that.
Plus parenting is a lifelong role. Your kids are gonna be 50 one day, and you'll probably be alive for that.
Personally, I've never liked children (the age group), but I have always admired some of my friends' relationships with their parents, and have always wanted adult children (that is, the relationship) of my own, so I had kids. And although my kids are pretty cool, I still mostly think other people's kids are annoying, and have only softened my views on that front a little bit.
I do wonder if there's ever been a generation or ever will be a generation of kids that grow up and don't go, well at least I'm not going to make the mistakes of my parents.
I think everyone thinks everyone else's kids are annoying because everyone else's kids were brought up by parents that were trying to compensate for different traumas. The hands-off parents are trying to not be helicopter parents, and the helicopter parents are trying to not be absent parents.
In my experience annoying kids are always the fault of the parents.
I ended up garbling my comment on an edit, but I've fixed it now.
I meant to say that I admired the relationships several of my friends had with their parents, and I have always had a pretty good relationship with my own parents, so the idea of parenting has always been based on positive examples and role models in my life.
How would you define an annoying kid and what age range are we talking about?
I'm in a relationship with a woman that seems to have a healthy relationship with with both her mother and father, the two still being married after all these years.
I know that's the way it's supposed to be, but in my experience marriage is a very temporary thing, and rarely happy.