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this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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As someone who just turned 30, every year brings growth and change to my life. I'm not the same person I was at 17, or 24, or even 28. Every day I strive to better myself, or do better. Am I more set in my ways than I was 15 years ago? Maybe. But I don't really think so. I choose everyday to try to level up myself in some way, some days I succeed. But often I fail. And that's okay. Failure is a part of life - and an integral one. Struggling and failing is how you learn. It's also a cliche, but I find it to be true that success is all the sweeter when it comes after a series of failures. All you can do is pick up and try again. Because when you let failure stop you, that's the only way to ensure you'll never succeed.
You're young. You don't need to have accomplished anything at this point, you don't need to know what you want to accomplish later in life. Even if you never accomplish anything of note it won't make your life, or your happiness, less important or meaningful. Your goals don't have to be grand, as long as they matter to you.
Also I noticed specifically you mentioned sleeping around here. I'm not sure why you think sleeping around would hurt you in the future, or why you are beating yourself up so much over that specifically. But you should stop shaming yourself for it. "Sleeping around" is a perfectly normal part of life, at any age. As long as you're doing it safely, and with care for your own mental health. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It won't prohibit you from settling down in the future if that's what you want.
I don't mean "sleeping around" literally, I just didn't know what phrase to use to describe just kind of not doing any out-of-box activity and missing opportunities around you in general.
I did this too much it kind of affects some of my personal life negatively atm.
Context: I'm hope-to-be international student
I'm whining I have so little time to prepare for college admissions but... I could literally start preparing 2 years ago but I didn't know I could study abroad at the time. Which is, kind of the dumbest assumption I made in my life. Have I never seen a single international student? Why would they not let you enroll? Why I decided I couldn't study abroad for some reason? Why I took the words of the principal or family for a topic like that, they literally can't speak English? Worse, I got really upset for not being able to study abroad for two years bc it was like my dream - this combined with some others factors made a few years of high school a mental hell for me
I could attend an international high school that would help with the process but I (literally this time) slept around instead of researching high schools.
I didn't learn German even though I set that myself as a goal before, now I can't apply to German universities, which would be free so I wouldn't be stressed for getting scholarships right now
My examples are academic only but similar stuff exist in my social life as well, or like any other area
And time passes so fast I feel the pressure on my shoulders to not sleep around at least because I know I'll regret that later on