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Yes I've had that experience and a similar one once the first ARM SBCs came to the market circa 2009 with the SheevaPlug. At that time was trying to get stuff work on those and I know how things go.
After this point you're essentially saying the same thing I was BUT replacing the word Javascript with Java/dotnet. Once those virtual machines runs well on ARM (as they mostly do) developers won't care anymore about the architecture. I only picked Javascript/Typescript as an example because it will most like take over everything in a few years.
And why are they trying to push developers into ARM? It is medium term strategic investment, they're just waiting and pushing ARM manufacturers such as Ampere Computing to develop "bigger and better" CPUs that will take on Intel. Once they're very competitive in performance they'll simply start replacing Intel with ARM and nobody will complain because at that point the 90% of developers are using Java/dotnet/Javascript (things that run on VMs) will not even notice the difference between running on their amd64 or ARM.
It seems that Facebook, the holy grail of running PHP, doesn't agree with you. They've been pushing ARM on their datacenters for years now.
I've been using Linux4Tegra since before the M1 silicon and it's really not that bad if you are at all used to build chain management. Granted, Nvidia does a lot of the initial heavy lifting here, but really to spin up a custom environment, you really only need to get the builds done right the first time and then it's pretty smooth sailing.